


To Remember

by theotheralissa



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 12:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5048356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theotheralissa/pseuds/theotheralissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jun opens up a chocolate shop where he serves more than sweets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Shitsuren Chocolatier AU that probably has very little in common with the drama, but there is chocolate. Written for [yumenosete](http://archiveofourown.org/users/yumenosete/pseuds/yumenosete) for Kitto Slutparty 2015! Originally posted [here](http://kitto-slutparty.livejournal.com/33202.html). 
> 
> Thank you as always to [muffinsome](http://archiveofourown.org/users/muffinsome) for all of the hand holding! <333

It was always Satomi. From the moment Jun first saw her walking to school and spent the rest of the day dreaming about what she’d look like on their wedding day. It was always Satomi and even though she was popular and Jun was no one he was determined to win her heart. 

He tried lots of things. First he tried growing the most beautiful flowers in the world for her but that took too much time and he was only fourteen and didn’t have the patience. Then when he found out she had a sweet tooth he tried cookies, cakes. Even if he offered them to her she would only take them, flash that beautiful smile, then turn around and walk out of his life again. 

It wasn’t until the last year of high school that he realized he had a talent. 

“I don’t know what you mean...” Nino said, when Jun tried to explain it. 

It was a manipulation of the space between his fingers. He concentrated on an image and somehow that image took shape. Jun and Nino sat on the swings of the neighborhood playground at night and Jun moved his hands together while thinking about a scene that Nino might like - winning the big baseball game at the end of the season with his team. He imagined the crack of the bat and the sand under his cleats as he ran around the bases. The screaming crowd and the hot summer sun. When he finished it looked like a small, misshapen pebble and he handed it to Nino who took it in his hand skeptically. 

“What is it?” he asked.

“It’s... something,” Jun said. 

“Something,” Nino echoed. 

It wasn’t a memory since it hadn’t happened before and it wasn’t a dream since they were awake. It wasn’t a fantasy since it was the creation of Jun’s mind and not the mind of the person he gave it to. 

“An experience?” Jun said. It was the best way he could think to describe it. 

He put Nino’s hands together so they were both around the pebble-like thing and held his hands tight. 

Then he watched as it flashed across Nino’s eyes and his lips curled into a smile. Nino was there, running around the bases. Jun could see it in his eyes and in the way his breath quickened. It only lasted a moment and then Nino was back there on the playground swing. 

“I’m going to make the most amazing experience in the world for Satomi,” Jun said with a nod. 

When Nino opened his hands the pebble had disappeared.

In Jun’s neighborhood there was a feeling and sensation cafe at the end of the block. And closer to the train station was a small stand where a woman sold honesty with a little something soft to take the edge off. Across from his school was a popular comfort shop and on his way home on the train he always passed by a store that sold an array of emotions from joy to confidence to exhilaration. 

He was determined to open up a shop someday where he could sell his experiences. Over the next few months Jun worked on his craft. He started out simple. The experiences were a quiet afternoon stroll through a park or a comfortable evening at home. Simple and familiar. He visited the theme park and made an experience out of the ferris wheel. Then he made one out of the view of the city lights in Tokyo at night. He showed them all to Nino one by one. 

“What is it today?” Nino would ask. 

“A hike in the mountains,” Jun would say with a big, eager smile. One that Nino would then tell him to wipe off his face. But he wouldn’t because he was far too excited to see Nino’s reaction. 

Then Nino would grimace because his idea of the best experience there was would be curled up with a comic book on a nice, soft sofa. 

“Just try,” Jun would say. 

And he would. And he’d either like it or not. The temperature would be off or the sounds in the background wouldn’t match up quite right. Jun would write everything down in a notebook then after they said their goodbyes he’d get right back to work again. 

But Satomi left soon after they graduated from high school and didn’t come back for a long time.  
She left to study overseas and she’ll come back, she said, after university. And while maybe Jun should have felt his heart drop when he found out she was leaving instead it felt like a chance. A perfect opportunity to work and study and practice his craft so that when she returned he could give her the most beautiful experience he could create. 

\---

Years later, just before Satomi is expected to return, Jun stands in front of the old feeling and sensation cafe on his block. Closed now, not due to lack of business, but simply because the old couple who owned it decided to retire. With some help from his family, the old cafe becomes his. And on this day, while he’s become an adult with life experience and years of developing his skill, it still feels daunting standing in front of the double doors. 

When he steps inside he finds a big kitchen and an open space where he can put tables and chairs for his customers. There is a small bedroom in the back of the cafe and Jun takes up residence there.

Over the years the experiences turn from awkward pebbles to smaller and more condensed only slightly bigger than a grain of sand. Jun places them in Nino’s hand and they disappear. It isn’t so interesting just to hold a grain of sand and watch it vanish and it isn’t long before he’s mixing them into batches of chocolate and combining everything Satomi loves into a small, bite-sized piece. Now he won’t just have experiences to sell, but chocolates too.

“Just try it?” Jun asks after spending the first night in his shop doing much more chocolate making than sleeping. 

Nino sighs. He’s been trying these for years and this is the first time Jun has asked him to try one in a chocolate. “Looks too sweet,” he says. 

“Sorry,” Jun says. “It’s how she likes it...” 

Nino takes the chocolate out of Jun’s hand and pops it in his mouth. 

It’s probably too sweet for Nino, and he’s sure of it when he sees the small grimace on Nino’s face. What Nino doesn’t know yet is that this isn’t an experience made just for Satomi. It’s an experience that will change depending on who eats it. 

He watches Nino’s expression carefully. The grimace disappears and his eyes grow wide. Jun doesn’t know what he’s looking at but the little grain is searching his mind for the best memory it can find. He expects Nino to smile or laugh, but he doesn’t expect what Nino actually does, which is push him back and kiss him. 

Jun remembers something. When they were in high school and Jun was chasing after Satomi. That day he’d given her his homework to copy and she’d taken it from him with a thank you and a brilliant smile. Nino had called him a sucker and he couldn’t disagree. Satomi was dating the captain of the kendo club and he was much taller and much more handsome than Jun could ever dream of being. He’d brushed off Nino’s insult then just insisting that seeing her smile was enough. But then he’d fumbled with his bag and held Nino’s wrist and he’d kissed Nino there in the corner of the playground, sheltered by the changing autumn leaves. 

He doesn’t know what the chocolate made Nino see. He does know that this kiss is familiar. Muscle memory kicks in and he’s wrapping his arms around, pulling Nino towards him so they’re close. Closer than they ever were when they were teenagers. They’re both adults now. 

Jun didn’t imagine this happening again and he especially didn’t imagine it happening in his kitchen. And even if it were to be in his kitchen he’d hope it would be with Satomi. But something about kissing Nino is comforting and easy and for a moment it’s just a simple kiss until a feeling jolts through him that he might want more. 

“What did you see when you ate the chocolate?” Jun says against Nino’s lips. Even as he asks the question he’s moving closer into Nino’s space, wrapping his arms around then moving his hands down low, testing, and feeling a nervous thrill when Nino doesn’t stop him. 

“You think I saw you as some handsome charming guy right?” Nino says. “And then couldn’t resist you?” 

“I don’t know what you saw,” Jun says, starting to unbutton his shirt. 

“I saw the zoo,” Nino says. 

Jun pulls back. “What?” 

Nino laughs. “You don’t have to stop there,” he grins, then unbuttons the next one on his shirt helpfully. 

Jun imagines the zoo. The one close to the school that they’d gone to for a class trip once. He remembers the sounds and the smell of popcorn. It doesn’t seem like a bad or a good memory, but he has no idea what it has to do with any of this. 

Memories are tricky though. Trickier than experiences because one can lead to the next and the next after that and not everyone makes connections in the same way. Jun reaches for the next button, kissing the side of Nino’s neck until he’s released all of them one by one. 

The memory of the zoo, he thinks, leads to a memory of the school trip which leads to the walk back home and was the day Jun’s bag was heavy because he’d brought a batch of cookies to give to Satomi after school. He’d baked some chocolate chip cookies but then wasn’t sure which were her favorite. So he’d made a batch of sugar and then some gingerbread and he’d put them all in a nice bakery box wrapped up with a red ribbon. He’d carried them around in his bag all day and when it was finally time to give them to her he’d tripped and when the bag went up and over his head he’d grabbed onto it but it was too late. When he opened up his bag it was a mess of cookie crumbs and he watched from the pavement while Satomi and her friends ran to the bus stop. 

He’d sat there for a moment trying to gather up the disaster in his bag and Nino had silently crouched down next to him on the pavement. 

Now he’s in front of Nino, kissing him with the name _Satomi_ somewhere on his lips. He doesn’t need to say it out loud. Nino knows it’s there and it’s never been a hindrance. He loves her. More than anything in the world but she’s like a mythical creature that he can’t reach. The more he reaches the further away she gets. 

He’s never been this close to Nino before but it feels like he ate the chocolate too and shared the memory with him. It feels like his body knows Nino’s and it’s smooth and easy like silky chocolate. Like a spring day at the zoo and a friend who is silently, unwaveringly there. 

Jun pulls back to look up at Nino and looks at his face curiously. 

“Is it you?” he asks. “Am I supposed to be with you?” 

Nino shakes his head. “It’s Satomi isn’t it?” he says. “But you can think about her if you want.” 

“Somehow I don’t think that’s going to work,” Jun says. Nino starts to laugh, but stops when Jun finally lets his fingers move past Nino’s belt, wraps his hand around firmly and gives an urgent stroke. 

\---

Satomi comes back. 

Jun knows because her parents mention it to the couple with the fruit stand who mentions it to the woman with the honesty stand who mentions it to everyone else. He sends a card to her house, an invitation that he’s been waiting to send to her for years. The card has the shop’s name printed at the top - Expérience de Chocolat - and a promise that she’ll be able to have free chocolates there for the rest of her life. 

Satomi comes into the shop on a rainy, grey morning. The streets are lined with pooling water and the bright exterior of the shop looks muted and dull. Satomi’s electric blue umbrella cuts through the rain and Jun runs to the door when he sees her. 

She’s more beautiful than the last time he saw her. This time she’s in a pale blue slip dress with a white shawl hanging lazily from her shoulders. He holds the door for her and takes her umbrella, shaking it off before he slips it into the umbrella rack. 

She straightens her hair and turns around, showing him that smile that both breaks his heart and fixes it again. 

“Thanks for coming,” he says. 

“I’d always come to see you, Jun,” she says, bowing her head slightly. She always treated him like this when they were younger too, happy to accept anything he’d offer to her. And he was always happy to give. 

“Have a seat,” he says showing her to the table just in front of the counter before nervously going back to the kitchen to retrieve the chocolates he’s spent the last month preparing. 

The only one who has tried his new memory chocolates is Nino. He can’t predict exactly which memory will come to life when she tries it, but he’s mixed the recipe so that it will bring up only good memories. Soft and pleasant, at the most a slight ache, but nothing painful or harsh. 

He brings the chocolate on a plate and sets it down in front of her. “Coffee?” he asks, not missing the way her eyes grow wide when she sees the chocolate. 

“Sure,” she nods without looking away from the plate. 

It’s a simple, chocolate square only big enough for a bite. Strawberry chocolate is drizzled over the top and the soft brown and pink mix together warmly. 

“It’s a memory,” he tells her. 

“Memory...” she says, looking at the chocolate from every angle. 

Jun nods. “I’m just working on it now,” he says. “A new type. I made it especially for you but Nino tried it out first.” 

“Did he like it then?” she says, looking at the chocolate as if it’s too delicious to eat. 

“He... yeah,” Jun says, remembering what happened after Nino ate the chocolate. It’s already been a week since then but the memory is still fresh in his mind. 

“What if I remember something I don’t want to remember?” she asks. She turns to look at him now. She’s never hesitated to try anything he’s made for her. 

“I don’t want to make promises...” Jun starts. “But Nino had only good memories.” 

She looks at the chocolate again. 

“If you have a bad one I’ll give you a hundred good experiences for free?” he says. It’s silly because everything at this chocolate shop is free for her. And she looks at him again, smiles, wrinkles her nose a little, and eats the whole chocolate in one bite. 

He watches her expression carefully then points to the back to let her know he’s going to get some coffee and she nods smiling as bright as the sun could be if it would come and peek through the clouds. 

He pours two cups and brings them on a tray back to the table and when he comes back she isn’t smiling anymore. She’s looking out the window at the drab day outside and looks almost somber. 

“It didn’t work,” Jun says. His heart drops and the tray nearly does as well but he steadies himself enough to set it down on the table before going to her side. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. She isn’t crying but looks like she might at any moment and he regrets the fact that he only tested it on Nino and that he didn’t work longer and harder to make the perfect moment just for her. 

He places a hand on her shoulder and it seems to pull her out of the daze. She turns around, closes her eyes for a moment and shakes her head. “Thank you,” she whispers. Then she reaches to where Jun’s hand is on her shoulder and curls her fingers around his, pulling him in, close, and everything he’s imagined for a least a third of his life becomes real, physical, tangible. She kisses him and he has to hold on to the corner of the table to stop the world slipping out from under him. 

It’s a soft kiss. She opens her lips and he can taste the chocolate. He wonders if he could taste the memory too and see what it was he was able to show her. With the experiences he can add the right ingredients to bring up just the right scene. He can put in a dash of the smell of fresh grass and a pinch of the sound of cicadas. But he can’t build a memory. He can only provide the tool to search in someone’s mind and find just the right one, enhance it and make it real. 

She pulls back and he follows, letting himself sink in to the feeling of finally kissing her. He wants to say _I love you_ and _Be with me_ but when he pulls back to speak she holds him by the shoulder. 

“Thank you, Jun,” she says. “I really mean it. Thank you.” 

She picks up her purse and leaves Jun with two cooling cups of coffee on the table. 

\---

Satomi tells her friend Kiko. Kiko tells a friend. Kiko’s friend tells a friend tells a friend. Jun isn’t prepared for the influx in customers and at first he has to turn people away at the door with deep bows and apologies. 

“You should call the shop Mémoires de Chocolat,” she says, offhand. Kiko wildly agrees and in the next weeks Jun changes the name and theme of the shop. Experiences aren’t difficult to come by these days. They can even be picked up in packages at the convenience store. A quick one to enjoy on the train and make the commute a little more interesting or one to settle in with and relax after a long day. Memories, however, are something new. In the world of chocolate, where Jun feels confident he knows a thing or two, there are purists who believe in letting the taste of the chocolate speak for itself. Then there are chocolatiers like Jun who believe that enhancing makes them all the more savory. A taste and a feeling to go along with it. What could be better than that? 

Nothing at all, Jun thinks, as he greets Satomi for the third time this week. This time she’s brought a whole group of friends with her and Jun sits them down at a big, round table. Kiko likes raspberry and Yuka likes dark chocolate. Ayano likes salt and Ayaka likes the kind that’s liquid milk chocolate in the middle. Satomi doesn’t come in with any preference and is happy to try whatever Jun has prepared for her. He watches her reactions carefully and adds in a little more of what she likes, takes away a little more of what she doesn’t. 

Weeks go by and Satomi and her friends occupy the big round table most of the time. Jun prepares a new chocolate for her each visit and it draws a new memory out from the depths of her mind. Sometimes he wants to know what it is that she sees. Or at least he wants to know what it is she saw the first time and why it was that she kissed him. But in the end he doesn’t mind really because more than a kiss he wants to see her smiling face as she tastes his creation and sinks down into a sweet memory. 

When he tells Nino about it his words cut through the fantasies that have been playing through his mind. The ones where Satomi falls in love with him through his chocolates and kisses him again, making all of the promises that Jun wants to share with her. 

“I think you need to ask her clearly,” Nino says. 

“She knows how I feel doesn’t she?” 

Nino shrugs. “Do you know that for sure?” he asks. 

“She kissed me,” Jun says. 

“So?” Nino asks. He nods over to the corner of the kitchen where they’d been together a few weeks before. “Doesn’t mean you’re going to be with her.” 

“Would you be with me?” Jun asks. Not entirely sure why it is he needs to know but somehow it feels like between them there is an open door. Opened only a crack but open all the same. 

Nino smiles a little. “Who knows,” he says. Effectively wedging the door in place. Somehow Jun thinks neither of them would ever let it close permanently. 

“I’ll do it then,” Jun sighs, steeling himself already even though he won’t see her for at least another few days. 

He spends every day until the next time she comes into the shop preparing the perfect chocolate for her. It has to be special, perfect. With experiences he can let his customers enter another world and with memories he can let them look inside a world they already lived. A memory might not be good for a confession. He doesn’t know which memory she’ll see. So this time he makes a simple chocolate like the ones he made when the shop was still a shop for experiences. This one is a scene of the two of them at Christmas time with bright lights and decorations and a layer of snow covering the ground making the world look new. He steps up to her with a box of chocolates that aren’t anything more than they appear. There is no experience or memory inside. Just sweet confection. 

“The memories haven’t been made yet,” he tells her in the vision. “Let’s make them together.” 

After that the experience will end and he’ll be standing in front of her with the box. She can take it or she can choose not to. He wants her to take it and he can even imagine her doing it. Her hands holding on to the box and then setting the box down so she can wrap her arms around him and kiss him again. He can imagine it so clearly. As if it’s already happened and he’s just recalling it in his mind. But as much as he wants to see her take the chocolates from his hand and promise to make memories together an overwhelming part of him knows what it is she’s going to say. 

She’ll tell him no. Maybe politely, maybe nervously. He doesn’t think she wants to hurt him, but she might not be able to avoid it with her answer. He’ll take it graciously because even if he can’t be with her he can still make chocolates with her inspiration. The ones he makes for her are the chocolates that always sell out the fastest after all. 

\---

She says no. 

Not in the way he imagined but in a different way entirely. The real scene in front of him goes more like - she takes the box and sets it down. And she does kiss him, gently on the cheek and tells him that he’s amazing, that someone else is going to find him and he’s going to want to make chocolates for them and love them even more than he loves her. 

His chest sinks when she tells him. He holds a warm smile in place and bows in front of her, thanking her for her honesty. He watches her leave the shop after she promises him she’ll come back. The door closes behind her and he realizes she hasn’t taken the chocolates with her. They don’t have anything special inside of them but he still made them just for her, according to her taste, so he runs out the door and after her and hands her the box just before she steps into a taxi at the end of the block. 

“You can have them,” he says. 

She looks at him curiously, almost sadly, and he shakes his head. 

“No,” he says. “I know. You’ve told me no. But I made them for you so I want you to have them.” 

“Thank you, Jun,” she says, nodding and he watches her step into the taxi holding the box carefully like it’s made of glass and she can’t let it slip. 

He goes back to the empty shop and spends the night there in his room in the back and doesn’t open the shop for business the next day. 

\---

“Hello?” a voice says. “Anyone here?” 

Jun wakes up to the sound of knocking at the window. 

“Anyone here?” The voice says again. Then he hears knocking coming from a different window and another as if the person doing the knocking is circling the store. 

“Hold on,” Jun calls out. He isn’t even sure if the person can hear him but he puts on a robe and opens the front door. A delivery truck is parked out in front and when Jun looks around the corner a man wearing the same colors as on the truck is knocking on one of the windows to the side. 

“Hello?” the delivery driver calls to the empty shop. 

Jun goes up behind him. The guy is persistent and it’s something Jun can identify with. 

“I’m here,” Jun says and when the guy whirls around he reads “Aiba” on his nametag. “Do you want to come in?” 

“Ah there you are!” Aiba says. “I have a big milk delivery and figured you would want to get it into the refrigerator as soon as possible right?” 

Jun had forgotten about the delivery completely. When he didn’t open the shop this morning he decided to give himself one day to recover from Satomi and then he’d be finished once and for all with that chapter in his life. He’d wanted to spend the day alone, but even if it didn’t quite work out that way he doesn’t mind letting this delivery driver in. 

Aiba loads several boxes on a cart and pushes it up the ramp to the entrance while Jun holds the door for him. Then he helps him load all of the bottles into the refrigerator. Aiba starts to break a sweat even though the inside of the kitchen is relatively cool. 

“Do you want to stay for coffee?” Jun asks. He’s not even quite sure what he’s saying and he certainly doesn’t expect the guy to accept. Maybe even though he planned to be alone it somehow feels too lonely in practice. Around this time Satomi and her friends would be filling the big, round table and customers would be lined up outside hoping they’d arrived in time to get the limited chocolate of the day. Even now when Jun looks up at the entrance he sees people looking at the notice on the door and leaving disappointed. 

“Oh um, me?” Aiba asks. “I’d like to but I have some other deliveries.” 

“When is your day off?” Jun asks. He feels a tugging in his chest. The same feeling he’s always felt with Satomi but this time it seems to be pulling in about ten directions at once. 

“Tuesday,” Aiba says. He’s writing something in his clipboard then he hands it over to Jun with a pen. “Sign here,” he says. 

“Come back here,” Jun says, reaching behind him to the counter and pulling out a card from the small, plastic card holder there. “Come back on Tuesday and I’ll make something just for you.” 

“Mémoires de Chocolat,” Aiba says, reading the card out loud. He looks up and Jun meets eyes with him and the tugging feeling tugs at him again. 

“Can you?” Jun asks. 

Aiba flashes a smile that’s unlike any he’s ever seen before. Simple and bright and the wrinkles near his eyes tell Jun all about every smile he’s ever smiled before this one. “Yeah okay,” he says. 

When he leaves Jun sends Nino a text message. “Come over,” he writes. “Wear something that’s easy to get out of.” 

\---

Nino doesn’t seem surprised when Jun tells him what happened with Satomi. But he does seem a little surprised that Jun didn’t open the shop the next day.

Nino stays with him in the shop for a few days. He leaves in the morning to go to work then comes back with some clothes and things he’s brought from home to sleep over. He mentions that it’s out of his way to come here and to an untrained ear it might sound like a complaint but to Jun it’s a sugar sprinkle on top of a chocolate. It’s Nino’s way to let him know that he’s coming here because he wants to and he knows Jun needs him right now. 

The first night is heavy kissing and rushed hand jobs with their clothes still half on and not even completely in the bed. But by the third night they’ve settled into a routine, one where Jun brings the condoms and Nino’s contribution is the way his hands wrap around the headboard as Jun strokes him hard between their bodies and fucks him until his toes curl. 

Nino seems more than a little surprised when after the first three days Jun finally tells him. 

“I met someone,” he says. 

“Is she like Satomi?” Nino says, carefully. 

“He,” Jun corrects, “is my muse.” 

“So just like Satomi,” Nino grins. 

Jun shakes his head. Satomi said she’d come into the shop again so he’ll still make chocolates for her. It might be premature to call Aiba his muse when he has no idea what kind of chocolates he likes or if he even likes chocolate at all. But he knows at least that Aiba wanted to stay for coffee so he’ll start with a coffee chocolate with a warm, gentle memory inside to match the way looking at Aiba’s smile made him feel. 

\---

Aiba comes in on Tuesday just like he said he would. He comes early, before Jun has opened the shop and he’s wearing his work uniform even though he’d said today was a day off. Jun opens the door and Aiba smiles at him regretfully. “I was called in,” he says. “But I had a little time and I didn’t want to just not show up so...” 

“Can you come in for a few minutes?” Jun asks. 

“Sure,” Aiba says, stepping inside and looking around at every corner of the shop. “Wow,” he says. 

“You’ve been here before,” Jun says, pouring some hot tea for both of them. He wanted Aiba’s palate to be ready for the taste of coffee so he’d prepared tea for them to drink. 

“Yeah but I was at work,” Aiba says. “So I couldn’t really look anywhere else. I just saw the refrigerator.” 

Jun can hear Nino getting ready. He’s going to leave soon and a few customers have already gathered outside of the entrance. He wants more time to be with Aiba. To talk to him and find out what he likes, what he dislikes, where he’s from, why he’s here now. He wants to know everything about him and wants to know if he fits into his life too. If he’ll let Jun see him as a muse or even as a friend. 

“I guess you don’t have much time but...” Jun says. On cue Nino opens the door from the back and steps out in a grey suit with a bag slung over his shoulder. 

Nino looks from one of them to the other and nods. “Hey,” he says. 

“Hi,” Aiba says, standing up quickly and giving a polite bow. “I’m Aiba Masaki, nice to meet you.” 

“Ah hi,” Nino says. He introduces himself and bows slightly. He catches Jun’s glance and it’s difficult for him to read Nino right now. He seems distracted by something but maybe he’s just in a hurry to get out the door. 

“Sorry I didn’t know anyone else was here,” Aiba says, pulling his bag on and using his other hand to tuck the chair back in under the table. He’s only drank half of the tea and looks at that regretfully as well. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Nino says. “Stay and let this guy give you chocolates until you get sick.” 

“I think he has to get to work,” Jun says.

“No!” Aiba says. “I mean. I can stay just a little while longer but you already have a line outside don’t you?” 

Nino looks down and covers his face in a way that Jun knows he’s smiling too big to let anyone see. But he discovers something from that position. “Ah!” he says, looking in Aiba’s half unzipped bag. “Can I borrow this?” 

“Oh um...” Aiba moves the bag around so he can unzip it completely and pulls out a thick copy of Weekly Jump. “I just finished reading it so yeah,” he says handing it over to Nino who gleefully flips through the pages. 

Aiba sits down again and quickly drinks the rest of his tea then stands up and bows to Jun politely. “Thank you for inviting me,” he says. 

“Wait,” Nino says, not looking up from the comic book. 

“Mm?” Aiba says. 

“Try this first,” Jun says. He hands a small chocolate on a dish to Aiba. “It’s a memory chocolate.” 

Aiba looks at the sign outside of the shop and the reflection of the shop’s name on the windows. “Ah so that’s why it’s called that,” he says. 

Jun nods. “Will you try it?” 

Aiba nods. “Alright sure,” he says. 

“You’ll see a memory,” Jun says, watching Aiba lift the chocolate up to his mouth. “A nice one from your past and you’ll see and feel it again.” 

Aiba takes the chocolate and eats it all in one bite. “Ah!” he says. “It’s good.” He smiles warmly and Jun feels that same warmth shoot right up his spine. He wants to make every kind of chocolate there is for Aiba and he wants to watch him eat them with that same smile on his face. 

Jun watches him carefully the same way he watches Nino or Satomi when they try his chocolates. They usually look peaceful. Sometimes Nino closes his eyes and sometimes Satomi laughs that laugh she does that sounds like a gentle bell ringing. 

Aiba looks down then shifts his feet a little. Then frowns. 

“What’s wrong?” Jun asks. 

“Oh... nothing!” Aiba says quickly. “It was nice. I remembered something really great. Thanks Matsumoto-san.” 

“Jun,” he says quickly. “You can call me Jun.” 

“Thanks, Jun,” Aiba says, packing up all of his things. He looks like he wants to go running out the door and he looks over at Nino, still reading the Weekly Jump. “I’ll pick that up from you next time okay?” 

Nino nods and gives a little salute. Then Aiba is gone and the shop is lonely and empty and quiet except for the sound of Nino turning the pages. 

“I finished reading it,” Nino says. 

Jun looks over at him. 

“But Aiba will have to come back and get it won’t he?” he says. 

“Thanks,” Jun says and Nino smiles, flipping back to the beginning to read the book over again. 

“No problem,” he says. 

\---

Something went wrong, Jun thinks, going over the recipe again and again in the days after Aiba tried the chocolate. 

He makes the same one for Nino and Nino remembers a day when he did well on a test at school and his mother praised him and promised him a new baseball glove. He remembered that feeling of being a child with big dreams of growing up to play baseball in big stadiums. Jun usually writes down Nino’s reactions in a notebook and this one is as good as any. The light, gentle feeling of childhood dreams and a good memory from the past. 

It’s memories like this that Jun aims for. If the recipe is too strong it might bring out a bad memory instead or it might bring a good memory that is so good the loss of it can leave a feeling of emptiness behind. Jun wants his customers to remember something pleasant that they might not have remembered otherwise while the big, beautiful memories they treasure are already in their mind somewhere safe. 

“Then why did he frown like that?” Jun asks. 

Nino is there but Jun is mostly asking the question to himself. He sits there flipping silently through the Weekly Jump that he left there at the chocolate shop waiting for Aiba to come back and pick it up. He’ll come on delivery day, Jun supposes, but he still can’t forget the way Aiba looked after he ate the chocolate and as he left the shop. Quiet and slightly like the wind had been knocked out of him. 

“He had a bad memory,” Jun says to himself, stirring the chocolate. This time it isn’t coffee flavored. This time he makes an almond truffle wondering if this might be more to Aiba’s taste. And this time he makes the memory even lighter, fainter than before. Maybe just a hint of a memory and the pleasant feeling that comes with it. That’s enough, he thinks, as he whirls around the kitchen finishing up the batch. 

He makes a smaller truffle for Nino, always careful not to ask too much of him. He’s willing to try out the memories but he doesn’t eat much and Jun knows his limits. 

“Here,” he says, setting a plate with the small truffle down in front of him. He’s finished with the Weekly Jump and read everything from cover to cover and now he’s reading another comic that must have been stuffed in his bag. He’s still staying overnight here on most nights but he packs light. 

“Second attempt?” Nino asks. 

“Yeah,” Jun says, unsure about everything from the memory to the flavor. 

“Here goes,” Nino says, popping it in his mouth. 

The memory is so light it’s only a breeze that he felt on a hot summer day some years ago. It comes in a quick flash but he tells Jun he can feel it for just a moment. In a rush to catch the train he finds himself nearly running to the station, sweat forming on his hairline and he reaches for the towel in his bag but instead a breeze hits him just right and there is a momentary relief. 

“That’s all,” Nino says, taking a sip from the glass of water that Jun also set in front of him. 

Jun writes it down in his notebook. Aiba will come the next day with the delivery and Jun will have just the chocolate for him. 

\---

The next day doesn’t go as planned. 

First, Aiba is late with the delivery and Jun can’t give the chocolate to him in the morning hours before the shop is bustling with customers. Second, the reason he’s late is because of a new shop opening just down the block. He doesn’t have to go to the shop to learn what it is because apparently the owner has a reputation. 

Bread Wonderland opens up just three shops down from Mémoires de Chocolat and unlike Jun’s shop that didn’t start with regular customers right away on the first day there are customers lined up down the street. 

Many of the customers, Jun notices, are his own as well. They come into the chocolate shop a little later than they’d usually come before, bags in hand from the bakery and bringing with them the warm smell of bread into the shop. 

Some of the customers sit down and enjoy their chocolate with coffee or tea and they take out croissants and rolls from their bags and remark on how the chocolate and bread go so well together, complement each other. Jun spends most of the day in curiosity and the shop is as busy as ever so Asami, the new staff he’s hired since business picked up, has to stay the whole day and it’s beginning to look like he’ll need to hire some more staff to keep the shop running with efficiency. 

It’s even more clear to him that another staff member would be useful the moment that Aiba finally steps in and Jun wants nothing more than just a couple of minutes alone with him to give him his chocolate and learn another thing or two about him. 

“Asami-san,” Jun says, apologetically. “If you can cover the counter for the next ten minutes I’ll make it up to you?” 

She nods and takes the tray from his hands and he goes out to the front to meet Aiba there. 

“Hi,” Aiba says, warmly. He’s wearing a smile that looks more like an apology and Jun just shakes his head. 

“It’s fine,” he says. “Don’t worry, come in.” 

It doesn’t feel much like a business transaction even though Aiba comes in with several boxes of ingredients. First, though, Jun takes care of that, helping him bring the boxes inside and signing the paper on Aiba’s clipboard. Then he looks at the clock and notes that he has five minutes before Asami will be needing relief. 

“Wait right here,” he says and Aiba just smiles in that way that makes Jun feel like he’s melting all over and he treads in and out of the shop as fast as he can returning with a small package and Aiba’s chocolate just inside. 

“Do you like almonds?” Jun asks, full of nerves but he doesn’t let them come to the surface.

“I do,” Aiba says. He’s standing with his back towards the entrance and Jun wishes they were somewhere alone and quiet, just the two of them. 

“Try this one then?” Jun hands him the package and Aiba laughs when he takes it. 

“You don’t do this for all of the delivery drivers do you?” Aiba asks. He licks his lips a little as he opens the package. 

“Just you,” Jun says. Somehow he’s standing closer to Aiba than he was before. It almost feels like in a beat he could lean in and kiss him. 

“Are you sure Nino doesn’t mind you talking to me like this?” Aiba grins. 

“He doesn’t mind,” Jun says, grinning in kind. He glances at the clock again. Just a few minutes. 

Aiba takes the chocolate out of the package and Jun watches as he takes it in his fingers, the chocolate melting against his fingertips and then it disappears past his lips while he watches his eyes close as the chocolate melts in his mouth.

Jun’s heart leaps in his chest and he thinks that he could do it right now. He could press a kiss to Aiba’s lips and taste him, feel him. 

Then it happens again. Aiba’s expression drops and he smiles like it’s taking a real effort. 

“It’s so delicious,” Aiba says. “Thank you.” 

Jun’s heart pounds loudly in his chest and he hardly hears Nino coming up behind them. “Hey!” Nino calls out. “I have your book.” He places it there in Aiba’s hands and Aiba shifts the package that had the chocolate in it into his pocket. 

“I have the new one!” Aiba says. “Do you want to borrow it?” 

“Yeah,” Nino says. Aiba opens the passenger door of his truck and takes the book out placing it there in Nino’s waiting hands before turning to Jun again. 

“I really mean it,” he says. “It was really delicious. Thank you.” He bows and leaves and Nino turns around to show Jun that his bag is there, packed to stay the night. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Jun sighs. Aiba’s truck has already turned the corner, gone for another week. 

“Then you have to pay me for my time and trouble, Jun-kun,” Nino says, patting Jun on the shoulder. He takes the back entrance and Jun finds a desperate looking Asami at the counter and rushes to her aid.


	2. Chapter 2

Jun decides to visit Bread Wonderland. But it isn’t as simple as just paying a visit. The line doesn’t end until the end of the block and even then it turns the corner. The bakery attracted a lot of attention from the start, but after the announcer Mito-chan visited and the bread was featured on an afternoon variety show it exploded. 

There are only a few things Jun really knows about the bakery. One is that the owner, Ohno, is soft spoken and modest. At first the lines extend nearly all the way around the block because he doesn’t see a need to hire any help. But he finally takes some advice and while staff are there to keep the bakery running smoothly he’s the one in charge of all of the baking. The other thing that Jun knows about this bakery is what he knew the day the bakery opened - that this business is bringing customers over to his. Even as he approaches he recognizes his own customers in line. He nods in greeting to Satomi’s friend Kiko who looks at him brightly as he approaches. 

“I’ll see you later Matsumoto-san,” she says. “Will you have some of those dark chocolates today?” 

“Of course,” Jun says with nod. 

Closer to the building the smell of bread is overpowering. Somehow it makes all of his senses come to life and he can feel the draw of the bakery pulling him inside. 

Jun sees the owner behind the counter and he looks as warm as the bread smells. 

There are a few tables inside and all of them are full. Mainly it’s friends sitting together or couples on a date. Then there is one guy in a suit sitting at a table alone with a laptop in front of him typing furiously. Jun notices in the moments when he pauses in his typing he glances up at the owner then looks down again at whatever it is he’s working on. 

Jun bypasses the line and slips inside. Here he can see the arrangement of bread but if he wants to actually taste any of it he’ll have to go out and around the corner like everyone else. He watches Ohno arrange some rolls in a basket. Then Jun feels his heart flip before he even sees him. Aiba’s delivery truck parks outside of the bakery and Aiba and his clipboard come inside. 

“Hey Sho-chan!” Aiba says, waving to the guy in the suit. He doesn’t notice Jun there at first but then when he turns they’re face to face and Jun almost can’t breathe. 

“Aiba-san,” Jun says. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here!” Aiba says. With the smell of the bread and all of Jun’s senses on edge it’s almost too much to add Aiba into the equation. “Did you come here to try the bread?” 

“Yeah,” Jun says. “And to meet the owner.” 

“Oh I’ll introduce you to him!” Aiba says. “He’s nice. A little quiet. He gives me samples of his bread.” 

Samples, Jun thinks, the way Jun gives him chocolates. He wonders if Ohno bakes bread for Aiba the way he makes chocolates for him. Maybe no one can resist making something just for him.

“He’s busy,” the guy in the suit says, looking a little worried. 

Aiba grins again and says softly, “Don’t worry I won’t keep him for long.” 

“Matsumoto,” Jun says, nodding to him and he stands up at his table to give a bow. 

“Sakurai Sho,” he says. 

Aiba beams at both of them. “Now we’re all friends right?” he says. “I mean I’d like it if we could be...” 

It’s a moment before Aiba notices Ohno is standing there behind him and he nods to Jun. “Matsumoto-san?” he says. 

“Ah nice to meet you,” Jun says, bowing and Sakurai finally sits down again at his table. 

“You must have heard a lot about each other,” Aiba says, handing the clipboard to Ohno. He signs on the line and hands it back. 

“I’ll bring Nino next time then,” Jun says. 

“Nino?” Ohno says. “He’s been here.” 

“See?” Aiba says. “All friends.” And Jun can’t help but smile to himself. Nino never mentioned coming here. Aiba takes the clipboard and puts it under his arm. “Well,” he says. 

“I’ll help,” Jun says. Because if he can help Aiba bring in the packages it’s at least an excuse to be with him a little more. 

“I’ll come for the delivery tomorrow,” Aiba says when they’re out at the truck. It isn’t as if Aiba needs to announce this to him and Jun wonders if it’s a signal. 

“Can I ask you something?” Jun says. He has to make it quick. Asami and the new staff members are surely getting in over their heads and Ohno has a long line to attend to. 

“Sure,” Aiba says. He hasn’t started taking the boxes out yet and he gives all of his attention to Jun. 

“Will you let me make chocolates just for you?” he asks. He’s been doing it up until now but he wants Aiba to be part of the process. It’s the same as what he used to give to Satomi even though he hopes this won’t end the same way as it did with her. 

Aiba laughs a little. “Eh?” he says. “You have a lot of people who want to eat your chocolates don’t you, Jun?” 

“I want to make them for you,” Jun says. “And that way they’ll be the most delicious chocolates I can make.” 

Aiba doesn’t look away and then does something that Jun might not even have the courage to do. Somehow Aiba seems like the type who can do anything. While Jun might fuss about the details, Aiba can jump in without fear. It’s his flavor. 

He reaches out and takes Jun’s hand. Casually, just the fingertips. 

“Yeah you can make it for me,” he says. And while everything inside of Jun is melting all at once he doesn’t show it. 

“Tomorrow then,” he says. 

Jun doesn’t want to part from Aiba, but he’s used up all of his time. Aiba nods and lets go. “Tomorrow,” he says. 

They take the boxes into the bakery together and when they come back Ohno is holding a basket with several types of bread inside. Jun and Aiba come back just as Ohno’s setting the basket down on the table while Sakurai looks impressively flustered. When Ohno sees them approaching he calls them over. “Made fresh,” he says in a voice that makes Jun feel a little weak. 

He needs to get back to the shop but many of his own customers are still in line here at the bakery. He has time at least to sit down and appreciate the bread that people are lined up around the block to try. 

“Thank you,” Jun says, finding himself a little flustered as well since he wasn’t expecting it. Ohno takes the bread out of the basket with a pair of tongs and places one piece on the plates for each of them. Jun gets the cream cornet and Aiba a curry bread while Sakurai is given strawberry bread with a cookie layer on top. He wonders if Ohno selected them deliberately the way that he selects chocolates for his customers. He’s only just met Jun but something makes him feel like the small cream bread in front of him was selected for a reason. 

“Aiba-san said I should visit the chocolate shop,” Ohno says. 

“Anytime,” Jun tells him and doesn’t miss the way Aiba smiles out of the corner of his eye. 

“Ah I should get to...” Ohno says, looking up at the line that only seems to be growing. His cashier is working as fast as she can and Sakurai nods. 

“Don’t worry,” he says. “We’ll clean up after ourselves.” 

“Thanks,” Ohno says, stretching his arms a little before he gets back. “Enjoy!” 

Sakurai watches him until he disappears behind the counter and Jun has to wonder if part of what sells the bread is this. The atmosphere and the one making the bread there with his hands. 

“Sho-chan comes here every day,” Aiba says, taking a big bite. 

“Not every day!” Sakurai says. “Sometimes. When I can.” 

“Every time I’ve come here,” Aiba says. Which, Jun will also note, has only been a few weeks. He has a feeling that Aiba makes friends fast. That people are drawn to his presence.

“Are you going to try it?” Sakurai asks, turning to Jun. Aiba has half finished his curry bread but neither of them have touched theirs yet. 

Aiba looks a little stiff when Sakurai says it and Jun isn’t sure why. 

“Yeah... this bread,” Aiba says. “It lets you see dreams.” 

“Dreams?” Jun asks. It hits him. All of it makes sense. The reason why they share customers and everyone in his shop has been insisting that the bread and chocolate complement each other so well. 

It must be a dream mixed with a memory and Jun can’t number all of the possibilities. Maybe the memory makes the dream stronger or the dream wraps itself around the memory, softening the edges. 

But with this he also knows that when he bites into the bread probably nothing is going to happen at all. Just like when he makes chocolate, he can’t see the memories he creates and it’s why he’s always given them to Nino to taste. 

Sakurai bites into his melon bread first and when he does he looks just like Nino. His eyes look like they’re seeing something that isn’t in this world but instead in a place that’s just for him. How does Ohno make his dreams, Jun wonders. Does he try to make them light and pleasant the way Jun makes his memories? Or does he leave it all to chance like Jun did when he first started?

Jun takes a bite and it’s exactly as he expected. He isn’t taken to another place, but the bread is delicious and made with care and he finishes it before he even realizes. 

“It’s great isn’t it?” Aiba says. 

Sakurai shakes his head a little. Some of Jun’s customers do this as well when they’re coming back to reality. 

He did say that they’d clean up after themselves but Ohno comes back to take their plates saying everything is in the oven. 

“So it’s dreams then,” Jun says to him.

“Dreams?” Ohno says. 

“Here it is,” Sakurai says and Aiba laughs next to him. 

“In the bread right?” Jun says. “Baked inside.” 

“It’s just bread,” Ohno says, smiling with the corner of his mouth. “But a lot of people keep saying that.” 

\---

“You went there,” Jun says. 

“Huh?” Nino says, taking off his shoes and stepping inside of the small bedroom in the back of the chocolate shop. It’s where both of them have been staying almost every night. It’s getting comfortable, familiar. But it’s always been like that with Nino. 

“You went to the bakery,” Jun says. 

“Oh,” Nino says, sitting on the edge of the bed and getting out of his suit jacket. “Yeah I went there a couple of times.” 

“What did you think?” Jun asks. 

“I didn’t try the bread,” Nino says. 

“How come?” 

Nino shrugs. “I wasn’t hungry,” he says. 

Jun comes up behind him and helps him the rest of the way out of his jacket, then can’t help but press a kiss to the back of his neck. When Nino turns his head he kisses him properly, pulling his jacket the rest of the way off and setting it aside on the bed. 

“You’re not going to get up and put that on a hanger?” Nino laughs. 

Jun grins and pushes him down on his back then kisses him again, deeply this time, hands on either side of his shoulders and pressing their bodies tight together. 

He pulls back to look at Nino. The way his eyes are half closed. His lips still parted from the kiss. 

Nino looks at him and says, in a whisper, “Blow me.” 

Jun lifts an eyebrow. “Alright,” he says, moving down his body easily. 

Nino laughs. “I was kidding,” he says. “Didn’t think it would actually work.” 

“Sometimes all you have to do is ask,” Jun says, starting on Nino’s belt buckle and he watches the way Nino shifts his hips urgently. 

“Fuck,” Nino gasps when Jun’s fingers run over his erection through the thin fabric of his suit pants. Jun likes Nino. He’s liked him since they met when he was an awkward kid. And he likes him now that years have passed beneath both of them. Even though this part of their relationship is new it still feels practiced somehow. When he pulls his pants down over his hips and presses his tongue to the head of Nino’s cock he knows just the sound he’ll make. Just the way his hips will move and the way his hand will flutter a little, not knowing where to land and will finally settle itself there on Jun’s shoulder. 

He knows too that when he takes Nino deep inside Nino will say some kind of expletive and then he’ll say _Jun_ in a way that makes his whole body feel prickly and sensitive and he reaches to push his own pants down so he can stroke himself in kind. 

He sometimes thinks about his next recipe while he’s watching Nino’s head fall back against the pillow and Nino laughs, tells him he’s obsessed. But what Nino doesn’t know is that this inspires him too. The way Nino’s body moves with Jun’s lips around him. When he trails his hand up the length of Nino’s torso and Nino takes Jun’s fingers into his mouth. 

“Wait,” Nino says. Jun looks up, meeting his eyes, and Nino looks like he’s pained to even suggest it. “Stop for a minute.” 

Jun pulls back, his mouth feeling strangely empty when Nino’s cock falls back against his stomach. Jun doesn’t stop stroking himself but he slows down and wraps a hand around Nino. 

“You went to the bakery today?” Nino says. 

“Yeah,” Jun says. 

“So Aiba was there,” Nino says. “Right?” 

“Yeah he was,” Jun says. That tightening feeling in his chest when he thinks about Aiba is back instantly and he wants this with Aiba too. Maybe he wants it with both of them, he thinks, selfishly. 

“Then you know about the bread,” Nino says. 

“Dreams,” Jun says. “Yeah. That’s why all of my customers are going there, right? Mystery solved.” 

Nino nods. Something about his expression looks careful and Jun slows his movements. Maybe Nino doesn’t want this anymore. 

But Nino whines a little and moves his hips up into Jun’s hand. “Finish me off or I’ll kick you,” he says. 

“I dare you to try,” Jun says. Then he takes Nino deep in his mouth again, moving in a quick rhythm while memorizing every sound Nino makes. 

He loves Nino. He trusts Nino. He grips the base of Nino’s cock tight with his fist and works his lips down to his fingers and up again, swirling his tongue at the tip. Nino’s fingers dig into his shoulder and Jun feels satisfied, nearly bringing himself to orgasm just from listening to Nino’s shallow breaths. 

He knows the way Nino’s hips jerk just before he comes and he holds him, digging his fingers into his hip, and lets Nino come in his mouth. His hips rock and Jun swallows, stroking himself fast and desperate. 

Nino pulls on his shoulder and Jun slides up the length of his body, kissing him, deep and messy. He strokes himself hard, whispering _Nino, fuck_ into Nino’s mouth and Nino pushes his hand out of the way, closes his fist around Jun’s cock and it’s over. 

“You didn’t even let me do it,” Nino says, still stroking Jun’s softening cock lazily for a while before reaching for a tissue next to the bed to clean himself off. 

Jun breathes heavily, lying there against Nino’s chest and he expects Nino to make another joke about how they’re going to have to steam Nino’s suit after this but instead he doesn’t say anything, just lies back with Jun half on him and his arm slung over his shoulder. 

Nino’s satisfaction was exactly enough for him. 

He tangles his fingers in Jun’s hair, twisting it into odd shapes that Jun will have to smooth out later. 

“Tomorrow,” Nino whispers. “Ask Aiba to make you a chocolate.

\---

Aiba is supposed to arrive before the shop opens in the morning. But he’s always on a schedule that makes him late and he isn’t there by the time Nino leaves. 

Just moments before the shop opens he hasn’t arrived yet and Jun thinks to call him but when he picks up his phone Aiba is already calling. 

“I’m sorry!” Aiba says right away. “I’m really sorry. I was caught in traffic and I left my phone at the first delivery place. I’m coming now and I’ll fly there if I have to.” 

“Don’t worry,” Jun says. A line is forming outside now and an even bigger rush of people will come after they’ve bought their bread at the bakery. He needs the delivery but Aiba’s voice is warm and Jun could never be angry with him. 

Asami looks at him a little helplessly while Junpei, the new staff member, tries to arrange the chocolates in the case to take up more space. Jun needs the delivery to work on the chocolates for tomorrow and if he can’t start on them now they won’t be ready for the next morning. They’ll also need to make the coffee last and won’t be able to make any chocolate drinks until Aiba arrives. Jun takes an inventory in his head and asks, “When will you be here?” 

“In an hour?” Aiba says. Jun can feel the apologies in his voice. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Jun says. “Come when you can.” He doesn’t even mind putting a sign outside and closing the shop if he needs to. 

Aiba sighs in relief. “Thanks for understanding,” he says. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

They open up the doors and the customers begin to pour in. The bakery opens a little earlier so the people in line are mainly carrying bags from there. They bring the smell of bread into the chocolate shop with them and even though Jun can’t feel it himself he thinks maybe the properties of even the scent of the two mixed together can cause a dream and a memory to awaken. 

He takes his place behind the counter, tying his apron around his waist, and Satomi comes in with her friends, taking their usual table. The chocolates inspired by her are still some of his best sellers so he picks out one of her favorites and a chocolate to suit each of her friends. They open their bags from the bakery on the table and after counting back from three they all take a bite. 

“Do we allow food from outside?” Asami asks. 

“The bakery is an exception,” Jun says, somehow thinking that Ohno also wouldn’t stop any of his customers from bringing chocolates. 

An hour passes and still Aiba doesn’t arrive. Jun looks out for him but he doesn’t see him approaching. When he searches the crowd for Aiba he sees Satomi’s bright smile and it still hits him with an ache in his chest. Although that one seems more dull and muted now when compared with the ache when he thinks about Aiba. 

When Aiba’s truck finally does come it’s when the shop is at its busiest. The customers have already stood in line at the bakery and now they’re all at Mémoires de Chocolat filling the space between the counter and the door then all down the block. 

He sees Aiba’s truck pull up but he’s so busy that Junpei goes out to meet him instead. The boxes come back to the kitchen seemingly by themselves and Jun never gets a clear look at Aiba at all. His chest aches in another way. A funny way that feels like the way he did when Satomi finally told him no. 

Whenever he meets eyes with her she smiles at him. Sometimes laughs and sometimes waves a little before turning back to her friends. She’s a big part of the reason why this shop is a success. And she’s here, laughing brilliantly, just where she belongs. 

At the end of the day, Jun’s head is nearly spinning. Junpei cleans up the kitchen with Jun while Asami takes care of the tables and the display case. Normally when they’re cleaning up at the end of the day, Nino sneaks in the back and either lies on the bed playing games or falls asleep and Jun slips in to the bed to sleep next to him. But tonight, Nino never comes. When the staff leaves for the night, Jun bows and thanks them for their hard work. And then he’s completely alone. 

He goes back to the bedroom and runs the bath, getting out of his clothes and into a robe while the warm water makes the room hazy. 

His phone goes off and a message appears on the screen from Aiba. 

_I’m outside. Can I come in?_

It isn’t an ache in his chest this time but a foggy feeling like the haze in the room. It’s so big it’s swelling up inside of him even if he has no idea what it is. 

He goes to the front door and there Aiba is looking like a dog that got locked out of the house. 

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” he says. 

Jun doesn’t say anything, just holds out his hand. 

The kitchen is quiet so when they step inside both of their footsteps echo. He takes out a bowl and a spatula and leans back against the counter. 

“Will you make a chocolate for me?” Jun asks. 

“Eh?” Aiba laughs. “I don’t know how to make chocolates! That’s why you’re the one with the shop and I’m the delivery driver.” 

“Will you try?” Jun smiles, not letting go of Aiba’s hand yet and lets their fingertips dance together. “You have to make it up to me right?” 

Aiba laughs again. “You have to be joking.” 

“This is how I make a memory,” Jun says. He doesn’t let go of Aiba’s hand but his other hand he holds palm up, spreading his fingers. 

It’s only slightly different than making an experience. With experiences he gathers energy from around him. If he wants to create wind he takes it from the air and if he wants to create the sea he takes it from the water. He draws from his own experiences and makes them come to life. 

But a memory is different. A memory is the shadow of something that was there before. And memories exist in every place that he can reach. The sidewalk outside is covered in memories of footsteps and the flowers the line the front of the shop are covered in memories of the hands of those who planted them. 

Aiba’s hands are full of memories too and Jun holds up his hand just absorbing every memory in this room. The countertops remember the chocolates he made for Satomi, the bed remembers all of his nights spent with Nino. Then it all gathers there small as a grain of sand. 

“I never felt it,” Aiba admits. The words cough out of him. “I ate the chocolates and the bread and everyone says they feel great but I never felt it. I think something is wrong with me.” 

Jun places the small memory in a vial. Although he didn’t filter this one so he’s taken the good and the bad memories together. He won’t be able to make a chocolate with this memory inside but it seems somehow like it wouldn’t be right to just throw a memory away. So even the ones he doesn’t use he keeps there in the shop. 

Jun looks up at Aiba again. 

“I think it’s because you’re like me,” he says. 

He takes Aiba’s hand and spreads his fingers apart, palm up. 

“I can’t feel them either,” Jun says. 

“You can’t?” Aiba whispers. 

Jun shakes his head. “Think about your own memories,” Jun says. “Try to picture what they look like and imagine that they’re somewhere far away and you have to pull them back to you.” 

Aiba nods and Jun can see something pass over his eyes. He wonders if he looks the same way when he does it. Memories can’t be seen until they’re all gathered together in his palm and Aiba seems to be doing what Jun did when he first started with Nino, gathering too much as everything rushed towards him. While Jun’s is a tiny grain of sand, Aiba’s is more like a rock. It’s big and heavy in his palm and Jun reaches out to touch it. 

Aiba looks at his hand with eyes wide, his mouth hangs open a little too and Jun tries to bite back a smile but he’s too late. 

He holds up a vial so that Aiba can keep this one and Aiba drops it inside. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jun asks. 

Aiba sighs in relief. “I’ve been wanting you to do that for weeks.” 

Jun doesn’t miss a beat, just leans in and kisses him. He tries to take it soft and slow but this has been welling up in him since the moment he met Aiba. He wanted him here like this, alone in his kitchen, letting Jun kiss him against the counter. He wanted to make chocolates for him. Wanted him to come into the shop like Satomi just to taste the memories. 

He kisses Aiba and Aiba kisses him back and that hazy, achy feeling turns into something almost unbearably warm. He wraps his arms around Aiba’s waist and Aiba wraps his around Jun’s shoulders and they’re closer now so the kiss deepens. 

Jun opens his lips and Aiba lets him in and he can’t help but concoct a thousand recipes in his head. Hazelnut praline and caramel. Dark chocolate with raspberry inside. 

“Mm,” Jun says. “What should I make for you next?” 

“You said you’d make them all for me right?” Aiba giggles. “Then you have to get started.” 

Jun grins and kisses him again, pulling Aiba in tight and losing himself in the kiss and all of its flavors. 

\---

In the weeks that follow, Jun has a meeting with Ohno at the bakery. The two of them with Sakurai meet at the table where he usually sits and where Jun first tried the bread here. Ohno’s hair is a little ruffled and Jun can’t help but think he resembles one of the wild plants standing in the corner of the bakery. 

“If you collaborate once a week it will generate even more word of mouth interest,” Sakurai says. He works at an advertising firm, Jun has learned. And Nino told Jun that Sakurai - one time in his dreamy state - that the bread is his inspiration. 

“Keeping that one for later,” Nino had said with a sly smile and Jun is sure Nino keeps a lot of things for later, whether he needs them or not. 

“It’s fine,” Ohno says. “You can make the chocolates for the chocolate chip bread.” 

Jun nods. “But I want Nino to try it first,” he says. 

“Sho-chan,” Ohno turns to him. Much like Mémoires de Chocolat can’t stand without Nino, that’s who Sakurai is to him. 

“Maybe you can make a biscuit,” Sakurai says. “To go with the coffee that Matsumoto-san serves.”

“Yeah I can do that,” Ohno nods. 

“Once a week then,” Sakurai says and shakes hands firmly with Jun as if he’s acting on Ohno’s behalf. It seems so formal for a room where the scent of melon bread is stretching out to every corner and maybe feeling the same atmosphere Ohno laughs. 

“Then you have to start calling him Sho-chan too,” Ohno grins, pointing at Sakurai. He looks a little helplessly at Jun and Jun has come to know this. Sakurai loves everything about this bakery from the floor to the ceiling to every piece that comes out of the oven to the man sitting here who makes it all happen. 

“Sho... Sho-san,” Jun says and Ohno laughs heartily just as Aiba bursts in. 

“I couldn’t even park there are so many people out there!” Aiba says. “Are you opening soon?” 

“We’re just finishing up,” Sakurai says. “Thank you.” He bows to both of them and Ohno stands up, smoothing out his apron. 

“Ready?” Ohno calls out to his staff behind the counter and when they nod to him he puts a fist in the air. Then he opens up both of the doors of the small bakery to the huge crowd waiting outside. 

\---

In the weeks that follow, Aiba comes to the shop after closing on some nights. 

It’s two nights at first. Then three the week after that. Then he reaches a solid five. His last deliveries are always close to the shop and it’s easy for him to come there. Jun doesn’t care about the reason, just that he comes at all. 

“Do you want me to come to your place sometime?” he asks, one night when Aiba’s already come inside, set his bag down, and he’s already kissed him a couple of times and has to fight the urge to just keep kissing him the rest of the night. 

“I like it here,” Aiba says. “But you can come sometime and meet my family. We’ll cook you a big meal.” 

Jun wonders what kind of imaginations Aiba has been weaving into what he cooks without knowing it. He wouldn’t be surprised if he were to learn that someone had fallen for Aiba in the past after eating something he made. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot of someones just like that. 

“What are we doing today?” Aiba asks against Jun’s lips. And Jun desperately wants to say _this_ but they do have work to do. 

“The chocolate chips,” he says. “For Wednesday.” 

“But I wanted to do this some more,” Aiba says, leaning in to gently taste Jun’s lips. He could do that. He could just close the shop the next day or the next month and spend every moment in bed with Aiba. It sounds perfect and he lets himself enjoy the fantasy as long as he can before he absolutely has to break the kiss. 

“Chocolate chips,” Jun says, weakly. And Aiba laughs. 

This is how they do it. Jun threads their fingers together and they stand close. The first time they stood this close Aiba couldn’t stop laughing. Even after they did it a few times Jun still gets a light feeling in his chest when Aiba’s standing this close to him. 

“If you’re this close I want to kiss you,” Aiba says. 

“Later,” Jun whispers and both of them sink into each other, holding their hands tight as they pull in all of the memories from around the room. 

There are a couple of vials on the counter and Jun has grown accustomed to separating the purest memories from the shaky, unstable ones. The ones Aiba makes on his own are still rough but the ones they make together are unpredictable. They can be round and smooth or jagged and wild. Jun has always liked to be prepared but there is something exciting about not knowing what’s going to happen when they put their hands together like this. 

Aiba looks winded after they finish and Jun separates the memories while Aiba pours green tea from the pot that Jun prepared while waiting for him. 

“You can go to sleep,” Jun says, looking at Aiba’s heavy eyelids. They still have to make the chocolate but Jun can do it by himself. Aiba will have deliveries early in the morning and Jun doesn’t mind. 

“Then I’ll dream about chocolate,” Aiba laughs. 

“You can dream about chocolate if you want,” Jun says, turning towards him again, overwhelmed by that feeling in his chest that has gone from an ache to a haze to an unknown. With Satomi he imagined her in a wedding dress and could plot out every moment of what he wanted from their life together. With Aiba he can’t see what’s coming next and he’s filled with the constant need to find out more.

If he could encapsulate a memory to taste later he’d want it to be this one. Aiba standing against the counter with a teacup in his hands, the steam rising in the air in curls. 

“I’ll make the chocolate with you,” he says. But when he starts to fall asleep in spite of his best intentions Jun just points to the bed wordlessly and Aiba sleeps while he works until morning. 

\---

In the days that follow, Nino doesn’t come.

Jun sends him an email. “Are we okay?" he asks. The reply comes back after an hour passes, but in the body of the email is nothing but a “?”

Jun calls. 

“I mean are we okay,” Jun asks. “You and me.” 

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Nino asks. 

“You haven’t come by,” Jun says. “It’s almost been a week.” 

“You mean after all that I did for you and labored to carry those Weekly Jumps I also have to watch you guys kiss now?” Nino laughs. “Gross.” 

Jun smiles against the phone. “Just come here,” he says. “I have something for you to taste.” 

And Nino comes to the shop a few days after that. Without a bag to spend the night this time, but the usual shoulder bag he takes with him to work. He comes in and ducks his head in greeting. Jun takes him back to the kitchen, weaving gracefully through the evening customers. It isn’t so busy at this time and the shop will close up soon. Aiba will come and they’ll make a little bit of everything together. 

“Here,” Jun says, taking a chocolate from the counter and placing it in Nino’s hand. As always, he can’t predict what the memory is going to be. He watches it disappear into Nino’s mouth, then he gets that far-off look in his eyes again. 

He waits for Nino to come squarely back to reality. He wants to ask Nino what it was that he saw. Was it good? A kind, soft memory that can be replayed in moments of weakness? Was it old? Newer? Something funny? 

“It was raining,” Nino says, shivering a little when he says it and he rubs his forearms with his hands. It was raining and they were playing baseball in gym class. The teacher didn’t call the game so they pulled the bills of their hats over their eyes, slid from base to base and collapsed in a muddy pile after the game. 

“You went to the next class with mud on your face,” Jun laughs. 

“It was a good look for me wasn’t it?" Nino grins. A memory tucked into the back of both of their minds. Shortly before the two of them had become friends but they’d been in the same class in the same rainy baseball game. 

“Hey I finished up a little early today! I thought I’d--” 

Aiba stops. Then awkwardly shuffles in the room so the door closes behind all of them. 

“Am I interrupting?” Aiba asks in a whisper. 

“Yes,” Nino says. 

Aiba looks from one to the other until Jun pats his shoulder. “He’s kidding,” he says. 

“Oh!” Nino says. Then he reaches into his bag and pulls out the Weekly Jump. “I almost forgot.” 

“I have the new one!” Aiba says. They trade books and Nino flips through the new one quickly. His eyes scan the pages and on one page he looks pleased but on another one he sighs in disappointment. 

“You never know where the story is going to go I guess,” Aiba says. 

“Yeah,” Nino says, looking over at Jun. “But I had a feeling about this one.” 

“Tomorrow?” Jun asks. 

“If I feel like it,” Nino says. Which Jun knows is a promise. 

\---

In the following months Jun is so busy he has to hire a full time staff. The once a week collaboration with Bread Wonderland is a success beyond what they could have imagined and a TV feature is scheduled. While Jun doesn’t mind appearing, Ohno prefers not to speak on camera so Sho represents the bakery at Ohno’s insistence. 

A crew comes in the morning to set up the cameras and in addition to the normal crowd of customers there is a gathering of onlookers to see what the fuss is about. Jun comes in his uniform and Sho comes wearing suit in navy blue. The feature is to start at the bakery with a short interview there then make its way down the street to Mémoires de Chocolat where they’ll finish the interview at the chocolate display. 

Ohno bakes bread using the chocolate chips that Jun and Aiba made for him and Jun serves Ohno’s biscuits along with the coffee and tea. Wednesdays are busy. Crazy. Exhausting and exhilarating. 

They’re interviewed together for a morning variety show with announcers Mito-chan and Masu Taichi in front of the array of bread. 

_So how did you first decide to collaborate?_

Jun remembers the first time he came here. When he ate bread with Aiba and Sho and while Sho saw something beautiful in his imagination Aiba wondered why he wasn’t feeling anything at all.

Ever since Jun started creating memories, his own memories have become stronger. He wants to reach back in that memory and take Aiba’s hand and whisper a secret to him about why he isn’t seeing Ohno’s dream. 

“I guess it all started because of the customers,” Jun laughs. “They liked both of our shops and the way that our products go together. We were really just giving them what they want.” 

They start to walk outside and at the entrance to the bakery they stop there while the cameras set up again. Someone comes and dusts a little makeup on to Jun and Sho’s faces. 

“I’ve never been on camera before,” Sho admits. 

“You just have to talk about him,” Jun says, gesturing to Ohno inside. The camera crew films him taking bread out of the oven with big oven mitts and arranging it in baskets. 

When he looks back at Sho he’s giving Ohno that look he always gives him and it makes Jun laugh a little. The director calls for them to get in position. 

_What is it about Ohno’s bread that makes it so special?_

“Well ahh,” Sho says. “It’s... it’s delicious to start with but well. Maybe you just have to try it to see.” 

“You’ll see a dream,” Jun says. “A nice one.” He’s never seen any of Ohno’s dreams himself but if they’re anything like Ohno he can imagine what they’re like.

“He says it’s just normal bread,” Sho says, looking over at Ohno. “But it isn’t.” 

“We’re not really sure if he’s lying or not actually,” Jun laughs. 

They walk a short distance from the bakery. The director asks for Sho and Jun to walk together so they can film from behind them. 

When they turn around, Aiba’s delivery truck shows up and most likely appears in the shot since it’s directly in front of them. Fitting, Jun thinks. 

He watches as Aiba unloads a few boxes from the truck. Normally he’d go and help but he sees Asami come from inside and take one of the boxes off of his hands. 

_Did you start selling memory chocolates for any reason?_

“I used to make experience chocolates,” Jun says. “But well...” 

Satomi. He wanted to show her the most beautiful experience. Then he wanted to make the most beautiful memories for her and with her. He made memories for Nino, great and small, and Nino’s taste molded them into perfection. 

“Memories are something we don’t always get to see,” he continues. 

Satomi and Nino tasted his memories. Aiba creates them. 

“I guess I’m a little romantic,” Jun says. “Ah what am I saying.” 

Sho laughs. 

Nino comes in the afternoons now sometimes on his lunch break. He gets the same special treatment as Sho in the bakery and then he comes over to the chocolate shop for some coffee. He doesn’t usually come on Wednesdays because it’s collaboration day and the crowds can be daunting. Jun doesn’t expect to see him, but when they get to the entrance of Mémoires de Chocolat Jun can see him there in the table in the corner where he usually sits. He’s sipping coffee and the camera turns at an angle where Jun is sure it catches him. 

_Are you planning to expand the collaboration?_

“It’s a limited item so it’s fun for the customers, I think,” Sho says.

“Handmade,” Jun says. “They have to be handmade so we can’t make enough to expand. It will have to stay like this. But we’ve been handing out chocolate drinks in the line to ease the wait time.” 

Sho nods. “Ohno’s been giving out samples too,” he says. It was Sho’s idea in the first place and he seems proud of it. 

When they enter the shop, Satomi and her friends are at the big round table. She turns to look at the camera and now she’s been caught in the frame too. It’s a little overwhelming to have all of these people that he loves so much in his shop. 

_Will you ever reveal your recipes?_

Jun looks around him. What he makes can’t be written down as a recipe. He makes what only he can. As Ohno and Aiba do. As anyone who has ever made a creation because they loved someone and wanted them to have it. 

“No,” Jun says, simply. “Because I want to be the one to make the best chocolates I can make for all of you.” 

The director calls and they finish the shot. The announcers bow and thank them for their time and Sho bows deeply while Jun says all of his appreciations. Business might increase after this and that’s why Aiba has brought an extra big delivery today. 

Work is a whirlwind and at the end of the day the chocolate shop looks more like a hurricane. Junpei and Asami help clean up along with the other staff members Jun has hired. For himself, he cleans the kitchen and prepares the ingredients he’ll need for the next day. It’s only going to grow from here and Jun wants to be ready for it. 

Aiba helps him with the cleaning and when they’re done for the night he falls back against the counter. Jun can’t help but steal a kiss. 

“Ohno invited us over,” Aiba says. 

“Yeah?” Jun says, leaning in to steal one more. He’s worked up from the busy day. “Then let’s go.” 

Nino and Sho are sitting at the table and Jun has to knock at the door since it’s locked. Sho stands up and lets them in and then they all sit around the big table with one empty chair there. It’s soon filled by Ohno who brings a tray with him. 

“I could save these ones,” Ohno says. 

“It took a lot of effort,” Sho points out. “It was pretty wild in here today...” 

It’s the last pieces of the chocolate chip bread and he gives a piece to each one of them. 

Jun knows that when they take a bite, Nino and Sho will feel something. He knows that he and Aiba will not. He’s still not sure about Ohno. 

“Cheers?” Aiba says, holding up the bread and the rest of them hold the pieces up in kind.

As he expected, Nino and Sho get that far off look. They both travel somewhere in time and somehow Jun wants to feel it too. Just once if he could see what they do. The two of them are the backbone of the chocolate shop and bakery. Ohno looks across the table at Jun as if maybe he’s thinking the same. 

“Just once,” Jun says, quietly. “I want to be able to try it.” 

Then he takes a bite and looks up to see the four of them there around the table. Sho is describing the memory he saw but it was a silly one from his childhood and it’s making Aiba laugh so hard he hits the table with his open hand. Ohno tries to clean up some of the bread crumbs while Nino keeps moving his tray while he isn’t looking and laughing when he gets confused, laughing more when he gets irritated. 

Looking out in front of him Jun sees a memory. One he isn’t ever going to forget.


End file.
